addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize