Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
