I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
