i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
