He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
