someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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