She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
