If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
