i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
