How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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