Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
