It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
