Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
