Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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