party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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