There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
