Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
