you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
