my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
