your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
