Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize