i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
