I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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