I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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