i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
