my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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