similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
