Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
