My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
