He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want to fling myself into the sun
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize