Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize