I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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