Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
