this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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