I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
