4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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