Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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