I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
