have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
