you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
