Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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