I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
