Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
