Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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