was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize