Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
