"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
