Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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