No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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