i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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