In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
even my farts smell like vagina
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Everclear isn't food dammit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize