Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
