Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
