just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
