There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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