i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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