Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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