I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
