weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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